Princeton High School’s student council has recently confirmed that PHS students will, in fact, have the opportunity to enjoy a school dance this year. The “PHS Winter Somewhat Formal” will take place in late January at the prestigious Heldrich Hotel in New Brunswick. StuCo believes that, with the introduction of this dance, they have responded to the student body’s frequent requests for a fun, enjoyable and safe dance.
“We’re pretty sure this dance is exactly what the student body wants,” reported an anonymous student council representative. “Obviously having a dance in the gym, like literally every other high school in the country does, is a big no-no, so we figured, ‘why not give the dance a fun, fancy kind of vibe by having it at the Heldrich?’ Which, by the way, is actually a pretty sweet hotel. Oh, and we think the whole ‘somewhat formal’ thing is pretty cool. It’s like, you don’t need to dress, like, prom formal, but at least wear a button-down shirt or something. You know?”
While StuCo admits that its attempts at planning a similar dance earlier this year was something of a failure, the class officers are confident that this new dance will be completely different, and far more successful.
“Our first idea,” added the aforementioned representative, “was to lower the price. A major reason people didn’t go to our last dance was because the price was like sixty dollars. So, we decided to charge only fifty five dollars per student for the Winter Somewhat Formal.”
“Unfortunately,” continued the representative, “after we added up all our expenses, what with renting the Heldrich, buying food, and hiring all those members of Alcoholics Anonymous to chaperone the event, we realized that we were going to have to charge around seventy dollars per person. But, I mean, that’s like only twenty dollars more than what people paid for cotillion, so like, come on.”
Princeton High School students were thrilled to learn that PHS’s anti-alcohol provisions at the Winter Somewhat Formal will be stronger than ever.
“Honestly, I’m cool with the higher price, as long as I know that the Somewhat Formal will be completely alcohol-free,” reported Anna Josephson ’16, whose statements echo the opinions of nearly the entire student body. “I think the main reason nobody wanted to sign up for the dance this fall was because the school was clearly not doing enough to make sure not one drop of alcohol got past security. I mean, they were going to have breathalyzers, but most of us were like ‘um… that’s it?’ I understand that there are going to be many helpful police officers patrolling the Winter Somewhat Formal throughout the evening, so we can all look forward to a fun, good-natured, safe event. Yay!”
At press time, 1,000 students had already submitted their forms for the Winter Somewhat Formal, although some students are choosing not to attend because of their concern that there might be alcohol at the event. As has been proven time and time again, the last thing any Princeton High School student wants is to have anything to do with underage drinking.