The latest edition of Princeton High School’s acclaimed newspaper was riddled with factual inaccuracies, readers have reported. PHS students were disappointed to see their newspaper, which is usually a reliable source of information, accidentally report numerous pieces of so-called “news” that had no factual basis whatsoever. From its nameplate, awkwardly misprinted as “A Tower,” to the content of its articles, this once respected institution seems to have lost the “professionalism” and “journalistic integrity” that its mission statement vows to maintain.
The catastrophes began on page one, when the Tower erroneously reported the cancellation of PHS’s prom. In reality, no such cancellation has taken place, and the administration has no plans of depriving PHS students of their beloved prom. “Why would we ever cancel prom?” asks senior StuCo officer Lisa Russo. “Frankly, I’m disappointed that the Tower didn’t fact check this article more carefully.” StuCo has reassured the student body that, contrary to what the Tower foolishly reported, prom will indeed occur.
Also on the front page, the Tower indicated that a sophomore leaving the PHS campus had prompted the administration to declare a lockdown. This was a gross misrepresentation of PHS’s security protocol, which, as the administration later clarified, would never call for a lockdown in response to such a minor event.
The newspaper also falsely claimed that their two managing editors were stranded in the PHS tower. After frantically trying to rescue our fellow journalists and alerting the local authorities, The Dungeon discovered that the two were safe and that the Tower had incorrectly reported the whereabouts of its own staff.
Overall, PHS students are disappointed with the egregious lack of responsible journalism that the Tower exhibited this month. However, most students can find solace in the fact that The Dungeon provides a towering beacon of journalistic integrity to the PHS community.