Principal Snyder Joins Bike Club

Principal Gary Snyder’s biking career has taken a shocking turn. In a potentially game-changing move, the bike-loving principal chose to accompany the once PHS-affiliated Bike Club on a bike ride last weekend, sources report.

While it is well known that Snyder is an avid cyclist, students were shocked to hear news of the principal affiliating himself with the rebellious club. After Bike Club severed its connections with the PHS administration, most faculty members dismissed the club as a group of unruly miscreants. Little did they know that Principal Snyder was in cahoots with Bike Club right from the start.

Snyder has been spotted at least once with Bike Club — in compression shorts and a thermal jersey. Some sources have even alleged that he was smiling.

While at PHS, Bike Club was allowed to meet regularly, to discuss their enthusiasm for biking. However, the school did not approve of the club members going on actual bike rides. Bike Club’s stance was that it was “just a coincidence if these same [club members] happen[ed] to go on a bike ride together,” Bike Club president Landis Hackett ’15 told The Dungeon.

Most Bike Club members are very happy about Principal Snyder’s membership in the club. “Bike Club is about three things: fun, adventure, and not playing by the rules,” stated club member Timothy Wallace ‘14. “Frankly, no one embodies these ideals more than Principal Gary Snyder.”

Many club members praised principal Snyder and his choice to, as Hackett describes it, “free [himself] from the restrictive rules of PHS.” However, others were concerned by Snyder’s decision not to wear a helmet. “I guess he’s just a rogue,” said Wallace.

In the past, Mrs. Lygas, a prominent member of Snyder’s administration, has attempted to control the actions of Bike Club. She was not available for comment on Snyder’s participation in the club. Our sources suggest that she was busy preventing Dance Club from engaging in dancing-related activities.


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