Today, PHS students and faculty were faced with an unexpected evacuation of the school. The Dungeon seeks to answer the question that everyone’s asking: what miscreant had the audacity to pull the fire alarm? The following is The Dungeon’s list of potential suspects.
Lori Rotz: PHS’s notorious prankster is up to her old tricks.
As we all know, Mrs. Rotz is considered “the goofy one” of the assistant principals. Perhaps this “fire drill” was yet another one of her hilarious hijinks. Classic Rotz!
Judy Wilson: PHS’s ousted superintendent back for revenge.
Since her retirement, this once omniscient superintendent has been awfully quiet in the public education game. Mrs. Wilson has also been known to be rather relaxed when it comes to inclement weather….
Robert Corell: Chemistry teacher seeking to “experiment” on his students.
Corell has never been one to shy away from real world experience in the classroom, especially not during the unit on temperature. Maybe this was just another “natural selection” lab….
Andrea Dinan: A rare blemish on the beloved public servant’s previously spotless record.
PHS Fashion Tracker: A depraved attempt to snap a seasonal photo of PHS students clad in the latest winter fashions.
Abortion: PHS’s conservative students were quick to pinpoint abortion as the culprit for this disaster.
You, the reader: Screw you, man. It was cold as hell out there.
O.J. Simpson: First his wife, and now this.