Local

Area Teacher Demands “Mr. JW” Pageant

PHS history teacher Mr. Ron Griffin, who has been “utterly dissatisfied” by previous “Mr. PHS” pageants, demands that this year the event be replaced by a similar pageant featuring John Witherspoon Middle School students: “Mr. JW.” Griffin has confirmed that events such as the formal wear display, talent showcase, and swimsuit competition would be “far more stimulating” as performed by JW students.

“Frankly, ‘Mr. PHS’ doesn’t suit all of my needs,” Griffin told reporters. “To be more specific, there is certainly room for improvement regarding the size and age of the competition’s contestants.”

Griffin has designed very specific plans for a future “Mr. JW” competition, which he says will test how well competitors can perform tasks such as washing a car, eating candy and keeping secrets from mom and dad. StuCo is currently reviewing Mr. Griffin’s proposal, as well as his request to compete in this year’s Powder Puff football season.

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