Student Life

The Dungeon’s Official SAT Practice Test

Essay Prompts:

1. Imagine that you are superintendent Steve Cochrane. Why the hell didn’t you give us a snow day? What’s wrong with you?

2. If you could meet any historical figure, why would it be Abraham Lincoln?

Sentence Completion:

1. As well as being ______, The Tower is known for being PHS’s ______ newspaper.

a) inaccurate, subpar

b) not good, bad

c) fallacious, incompetent

d) supercilious, derelict

e) student-run, Snyder-controlled

2. The word “______” often appears in conversations regarding ______.

a) Useless, Teen PEP

b) Cacophony, Cloud Nine

c) Venality, Princeton Peru Partnership

d) Useless, The PHS Administration

e) A-veritable-gourmet-of-comedic-rhetoric, The Dungeon


1. The Tower’s posters contain 12 references to “Leah’s death stare,” 8 poorly photoshopped Beyoncé photos, and 7 forced Frozen jokes. How many people will attend the Tower interest meeting?

a) 0

b) 0

c) 0

d) The number of readers of The Tower’s sports section

e) All of the above

2. Estimate how many clubs will be unnecessarily offended by this practice test.

a) 40

b) 12

c) 19

d) Probably just Prayer Group

e) 14

3. The Tower sucks.

a) 677

b) 85

c) sin(75°)

d) 83

e) π/6


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