Student Life

The Dungeon’s Official SAT Practice Test

Essay Prompts:

1. Imagine that you are superintendent Steve Cochrane. Why the hell didn’t you give us a snow day? What’s wrong with you?

2. If you could meet any historical figure, why would it be Abraham Lincoln?


Sentence Completion:

1. As well as being ______, The Tower is known for being PHS’s ______ newspaper.

a) inaccurate, subpar

b) not good, bad

c) fallacious, incompetent

d) supercilious, derelict

e) student-run, Snyder-controlled


2. The word “______” often appears in conversations regarding ______.

a) Useless, Teen PEP

b) Cacophony, Cloud Nine

c) Venality, Princeton Peru Partnership

d) Useless, The PHS Administration

e) A-veritable-gourmet-of-comedic-rhetoric, The Dungeon


Mathematics:

1. The Tower’s posters contain 12 references to “Leah’s death stare,” 8 poorly photoshopped Beyoncé photos, and 7 forced Frozen jokes. How many people will attend the Tower interest meeting?

a) 0

b) 0

c) 0

d) The number of readers of The Tower’s sports section

e) All of the above


2. Estimate how many clubs will be unnecessarily offended by this practice test.

a) 40

b) 12

c) 19

d) Probably just Prayer Group

e) 14


3. The Tower sucks.

a) 677

b) 85

c) sin(75°)

d) 83

e) π/6

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s