Arts

Studio Band Declares Self “More Popular Than Jesus”

The reputation of the esteemed PHS Studio Band was severely damaged earlier this week when saxophonist Lucy Diamond ‘14 described the band as “more popular than Jesus.” Reactions to this comment were mostly negative. While Studio Band has had a very successful year, from their tour of Budapest to their victories at the Berklee Jazz Festival, most students feel as though Diamond crossed a line by comparing the band to the messiah of the Christian faith.

“Honestly, they’ve just gone too far this time,” philosophy teacher Ms. E. Rigby told The Dungeon Dept. of Music-Related Outrage. “Studio Band needs to stop acting like they’re such a big deal here, there and everywhere.”

This has not been the first controversy for Studio Band this year. In February, rumors circulated that bassist John Mayburn ‘15 was dead. The band was later lambasted for the fact that their tour of Europe did not take them back to the U.S.S.R.. Studio Band has announced plans to win back their fans by performing a concert on the roof of the Apple Records headquarters building in London.

Studio Band instructor Scott Grimaldi can confirm that his original album “The Color of Midnight” is in fact far more popular than Jesus in all of our nation’s elevators.

 

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