Local

Andrew Zwicker Drops Congressional Campaign to Run for Class Secretary

In a recent press conference, New Jersey congressional candidate Andrew Zwicker announced his decision to suspend his congressional campaign in order to participate in the upcoming PHS Student Council elections, in which he hopes to secure the highly coveted position of class secretary.

“I think he’d make a great addition to the team,” said incumbent Class President John Mayburn ‘15, who is currently running for re-election. “StuCo could use another rocket scientist.”

Zwicker cited the prestige and power of the office as reasons for his decision to run for class secretary, saying that he “felt the need to move on to bigger and better things.” The candidate also noted the potential to enact meaningful change as secretary, something he felt he would have lacked as a congressman. Zwicker has promised, if elected, to unlock all of the school’s restrooms.

The candidate’s previous campaign slogans have included “Keep your congressman a rocket scientist,” “Keep your congressman Rush Holt,” and “Please vote for me I’m basically Rush Holt.” This time, Zwicker has boldly taken his campaign in a whole new direction:
Andrew Zwicker Campaign Poster

Zwicker and his campaign staff are aware that the potential secretary is facing stiff competition for his desired office. Rival candidate Jonas Schultz ‘15 recently unveiled a series of posters depicting himself eating an orange, with the caption “Orange you gonna vote for Jonas?”, a move that many top political analysts are calling “a game changer.”

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s