COLMAR, FRANCE – Last week, PHS participated in an exchange program with a high school in France, offering numerous French students the opportunity to experience American culture and education firsthand. Although the program was initially considered a success, the French students were dismayed to learn that their trip occurred at a rather inopportune time: unfortunately, the visitors came too late to experience PHS’s first homecoming dance in four years.
“I can’t believe we arrived only a few weeks too late to go to the dance,” Jacques Bibliothèque ‘16 told The Dungeon. “And they didn’t even tell us that we missed it until after we came home. I feel like I completely missed out on an integral part of American culture. This situation is the equivalent of Americans visiting our country and not having any croissants brought to them.”
“Sweaty bodies, dim lights, nonconsensual groping… that is American culture,” added Antoinette Ohmondieu ‘15. “That is what I came here to experience.”
President of the Student Exchange Commission Jean Mai-Brûler ‘15 was equally dismayed by the oversight, ordering an end to diplomatic relations with PHS, the withdrawal of France from the United Nations, and the immediate termination of PHS’s French Honor Society.
Having heard of the enormously positive feedback from PHS students about the dance, exasperated French students have decided to formally complain to the administration. The students plan to draft an official letter to Principal Snyder demanding that he apologize for depriving them of their Homecoming experience. Sources have confirmed that these unfortunate students are sure to be even more upset when they learn that they also missed Fall Fest, Freshman Field Day, and the PHS Spirit Semi-Formal.