PHS announced today that the school would be installing a traffic light in the main intersection to help with the crowded hallways. When asked what prompted this addition, the administration claimed that they had received a complaint from an angry student describing their walk from each period as “Walmart on Black Friday” and comparing themselves to “Mufasa from The Lion King when he’s being trampled by wildebeests.”
The money to pay for the traffic light will be raised by Ronald Kelsey ‘18 who in his words, “watched Netflix instead of doing my community service.” The school, however, is happy to take whatever money they can get for this project, since they no longer have enough money to even buy new tissue boxes.
The project has received mixed feedback from students so far. Freshmen for the most part have been in favor, while many taller upperclassmen echo the statement of Jasmine Alink ‘16, who said, “I’m finally old enough and big enough to run over other kids and now the administration won’t let me?” Alink’s largest gripe was she will no longer be able to “turn a corner very tightly and tank another person pretending like it was an accident.”
The installation of the traffic light will begin next week and during that time PHS alerts students that “the hallways will likely be more crowded than usual and there will still be no bells.”