Student Life

Hugely Cool and Rebellious Junior Skips Over “God” in Pledge of Allegiance

Mr. Linden’s 2nd period physics class became a subject of controversy when PHS junior and notable free-thinker Andrew Stanton skipped over the word “god” during the daily pledge of allegiance. Heads turned as Stanton skipped over the word but continued to recite the pledge, throwing the rest of the class off. 

“I didn’t think much about it,” Stanton said as he sat up on his foldable camping stool, parting his luscious golden locks to the side of his face as to not cover his gleaming, blue eyes. “I’m not going to pledge my allegiance to your silly fairytale.” The rest of his statement was inaudible due to copious amounts of back-patting and a standing ovation.

“I just think he’s so brave” said English Teacher Randy Davidson. “He reminds me of Socrates, but instead of having to swallow Hemlock as a punishment for speaking his mind, he has to swallow the approval and admiration of his peers and authority figures.”

In response to the recent controversy, the Vatican has changed its religious affiliation to “agnostic.” Pope Francis spoke to his followers, admitting that “the kid has a point,” a statement that was received with unanimous head-nodding.

God has since released a statement saying that he sees Stanton’s point and will retire, effective immediately.

 

 

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