PHS Junior’s Ego Impossibly Large After Becoming Admin of Club’s Facebook Group

Martin Guiteau ’18, who was given administrative privileges over the PHS Landscaping Club Facebook group following his hard-fought win in the club’s presidential election, has reportedly not shut up about it since.
Guiteau is a long-time member of the club. He has been a part of the organization since its creation two years ago, a fact that he has certainly not been shy about sharing with anyone in earshot.
Upon receiving the administrative controls, Guiteau dramatically changed the group from “Closed” to “Secret”. He followed this with a number of flourishes, including posting a picture of himself as the group photo and writing his name in the group description, behavior generally consistent with his really freaking annoying stories about the event.
“It’s just so symbolic,” said Guiteau. “It really demonstrates my gradual ascension up the hierarchy of this school.” At this point, the interview was interrupted by the incredibly rapid expansion of his head.
It is reported that club members are considering staging a coup against Guiteau, wherein he will be stripped of his position as group administrator and demoted to Vice President of Fertilizer Procurement.
Janet Sirhan, the club’s advisor, “could literally not care less to comment.”


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