Local / Student Life

PHS Community Shocked After Cafeteria French Fries Fail to Win Gold Key Award.

The annual Gold Key Ceremony at Princeton High School took place this Thursday from 2nd to 4th period. The Dungeon covered the event and compiled a list of all the recipients from this year’s ceremony:

Gold Key Winners:

  1. The guy that flushes the toilet when it’s nasty, even if they weren’t going to use it

  2. The person that volunteers to be on the pinnie team for handball

  3. That one kid who wears shorts when it’s snowing outside

  4. People who actually attended the Gold Key Ceremony

  5. White people in PHS Orchestra

  6. That one girl who took the time to nominate her entire friend group for a Gold Key

  7. People who resist the urge to buy “Anti-Social Social Club” shirts

  8. @phsshittyparking

  9. That one guy that forgets to logout of Facebook on the school computers so you can post “I’m gay” on their timeline

  10. Everyone who puts “Tower Staff” on their resume

  11. Whoever keeps signing up for Kahoots as “dicksoutforharambe”

  12. People who try to sneak fries into the Learning Commons and then pretend like they didn’t know better when they get yelled at

PHS Staff and Students were in outrage to see that the iconic cafeteria French Fries failed yet again to win an award. “It’s so frustrating when you know they deserve an award so badly for everything they’ve done for us”, said sophomore Gary McCarthy. “I would literally die without them, why can’t the Gold Key board see that?”

The Dungeon also compiled a list of runner-ups for the Gold Key Award:

  1. The student you didn’t know was in your first period class until the sub called their name


  2. The kid who’s Netflix account is a community wide server at this point

  3. Your Peer Group leader who may or may not have been high the whole time

  4. The kid that always shares his typed up notes with you the night before a reading check

  5. That student who EMT’s when they aren’t tutoring middle schoolers and volunteering at the local retirement home or rescuing stray dogs

Gold key

Good luck next year! Go get em lil’ tiger!


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