Colleges Fall All Over Themselves To Admit Sophomore Wearing Harvard Sweater
Student Life

Colleges Fall All Over Themselves To Admit Sophomore Wearing Harvard Sweater

After flaunting a crimson Harvard sweater in school on Tuesday, Natasha Simmons ’19 has been flooded with offers of admission from nearly every top university in the nation. “Well, that certainly doesn’t surprise me!” said Mrs. DiMatteo, Simmons’ chemistry teacher upon hearing the news. “She’s been wearing Cornell and Duke hoodies to school for the … Continue reading

Junior’s Last Thread of College Hopes Shredded with Discovery of Naviance
Local / Student Life

Junior’s Last Thread of College Hopes Shredded with Discovery of Naviance

  Princeton High School Junior Adam Norton was admitted to the University Medical Center on Sunday night after what his parents described as a “painful, unsettling ordeal.” According to the student’s mother, Anne Norton, Adam was already feeling down about a few of his Quarter 3 grades when PHS college counselor Patti Lieberman sent out … Continue reading

PHS Junior’s Ego Impossibly Large After Becoming Admin of Club’s Facebook Group
Clubs

PHS Junior’s Ego Impossibly Large After Becoming Admin of Club’s Facebook Group

Martin Guiteau ’18, who was given administrative privileges over the PHS Landscaping Club Facebook group following his hard-fought win in the club’s presidential election, has reportedly not shut up about it since. Guiteau is a long-time member of the club. He has been a part of the organization since its creation two years ago, a … Continue reading

Local / Student Life

Peer Group Leader Forgets Curriculum, Accidentally Dispenses Meaningful Advice

Disaster struck yesterday afternoon when a Peer Group leader was blindsided by a freshman’s question about a personal issue and, forgetting appropriate situational conduct, haphazardly answered it. The leader, who has asked to remain anonymous, was approached by a member of his group after their weekly meeting who was concerned about a party he was … Continue reading

Teen Pep to Take Over Driver’s Education, Dedicate Curriculum to ‘Postponing Vehicular Activity’
Local / Student Life

Teen Pep to Take Over Driver’s Education, Dedicate Curriculum to ‘Postponing Vehicular Activity’

School Board President Beth Kingston announced at Tuesday’s meeting that the Driver’s Education course would now be taught by Teen Pep. The announcement included details to the new curriculum which dedicates 20% of teaching time to a unit entitled “Postponing Vehicular Activity.” Kingston stated that this new unit of study would teach students that the … Continue reading