NASA’s Cassini Spacecraft Crashes Into PHS Band Room
Arts

NASA’s Cassini Spacecraft Crashes Into PHS Band Room

After two decades of exploring Saturn’s beautiful rings and moons, NASA’s Cassini Spacecraft suffered a critical systems failure, causing it to plummet directly into the PHS Band room. Several stands, chairs, and the prestige the band program had been building for decades were all lost in the destruction.Cassini’s flight specialist Dan Ascher commented, “We were … Continue reading

The Dungeon’s Year in Review
Arts / Clubs / Speak Out / Sports / Student Life

The Dungeon’s Year in Review

2016: Year of the Blog “I derive immense pleasure from making high schoolers stand outside for a half hour or so.” -Whoever made those swatting calls “It’s been a pleasure doing business with you PHS.” -Customink “Let’s check to see if there’s a new Dungeon article today.” -Sadly misled readers “Phew, that was a close … Continue reading

Students to Sparknote Spectacle Theatre Production of Jane Eyre
Arts

Students to Sparknote Spectacle Theatre Production of Jane Eyre

On the heels of last year’s literature-turned-theatre smash hit Shakespeare’s Star Wars, the PHS Drama Seminar class is preparing for another performance inspired by a classic work of fiction: Jane Eyre. For this show, however, students plan on flocking not to the PAC, but to their computers and cell phones. The overwhelming majority of PHS … Continue reading

‘A Little Night Music’ Cast to Attend Mandatory Teen PEP Workshop
Arts

‘A Little Night Music’ Cast to Attend Mandatory Teen PEP Workshop

PRINCETON – The raunchy nature of PHS Spectacle Theatre’s latest production, A Little Night Music, has prompted the administration to require all cast members to attend a Teen PEP workshop on the importance of safe sex. The administration has promised that this workshop will teach the cast members everything that they need to know about … Continue reading

Kim Jong-un Criticizes Asian Fest for Lack of North Korean Content
Arts

Kim Jong-un Criticizes Asian Fest for Lack of North Korean Content

PYONGYANG DPRK – This week, Supreme Leader Kim Jong-un attacked Princeton High School’s Asian-American cultural celebration, declaring last Friday’s Asian Fest “an embarrassment to Asia.” The dictator and his supporters expressed much disdain for the event’s failure to acknowledge the most glorious and excellent of the Asian nations. Kim Jong-un isn’t the only one to … Continue reading

Principal Snyder Conveniently Chaperones Orchestra Trip to Amsterdam
Arts

Principal Snyder Conveniently Chaperones Orchestra Trip to Amsterdam

The Dungeon has confirmed that Principal Gary Snyder is en route to the Netherlands with PHS Orchestra, despite having been notably absent from both PHS Band’s Trip to Berklee College of Music and PHS Choir’s gospel concert this past weekend. Snyder passed on opportunities to many visit foreign cities this year, from Beijing to Budapest, … Continue reading