Dear Seniors of PHS, As early decisions are coming in, we at the Dungeon feel that, as your number one source for PHS-related news, we should give it to you straight. You’d better get into your top-choice school. What do Bill Clinton, Dr. Seuss, and Oscar Wilde have in common? All of them were visionaries … Continue reading
Category Archives: Student Life
Teen Pep to Take Over Driver’s Education, Dedicate Curriculum to ‘Postponing Vehicular Activity’
School Board President Beth Kingston announced at Tuesday’s meeting that the Driver’s Education course would now be taught by Teen Pep. The announcement included details to the new curriculum which dedicates 20% of teaching time to a unit entitled “Postponing Vehicular Activity.” Kingston stated that this new unit of study would teach students that the … Continue reading
Athlete of the Year: Football Player John Matthews
The Dungeon is proud to announce that the 2016 Athlete of the Year is senior football player John Matthews. “He’s just sacrificed so much for this team,” said Coach Jim Thomas. “He showed up to every single practice and game, and just worked so hard. During games, he would put his body on the line. … Continue reading
English Teacher Gives Gary Snyder’s Pre-Announcements Speech a C+
PHS principal Gary Snyder was saddened to hear that an AP English III teacher had given his speech about Monday’s assembly a C+. “This paper took me a solid 3 hours, and this is what I get?” Snyder asked, shakily holding up his planned remarks with furiously scribbled red marks obscuring the text. Among them were … Continue reading
Top 8 PHS Student Fears
The phrase “I’m assuming you’ve all been checking the website” 89.9% in PowerSchool A conflicting opinion Unanticipated PA announcements The question “do you even have any black friends?” –/100 in PowerSchool Having to poop in school A somewhat competent substitute teacher Happy Halloween, everyone. Continue reading
Student Sentenced to Four Years in Prison For Bringing Hot Food Into PHS Library
Judge Phillip Collins sentenced Princeton High School freshman George Biggs to four years in federal prison without possibility of parole on Tuesday, just five days after Biggs was caught bringing a slice of pizza from the cafeteria into the learning commons. The sentence was the result of Biggs breaking a law that prohibits any hot … Continue reading
Hugely Cool and Rebellious Junior Skips Over “God” in Pledge of Allegiance
Mr. Linden’s 2nd period physics class became a subject of controversy when PHS junior and notable free-thinker Andrew Stanton skipped over the word “god” during the daily pledge of allegiance. Heads turned as Stanton skipped over the word but continued to recite the pledge, throwing the rest of the class off. “I didn’t think much … Continue reading