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We Had a Bunch of Ideas For an Article, but Then Our Moms Said “No!”
Local / Student Life

We Had a Bunch of Ideas For an Article, but Then Our Moms Said “No!”

You’ve probably noticed that your most trusted news source has been absent from this week’s flurry of articles, both local and national, about PHS. That’s because here at The Dungeon, we pride ourselves in providing you with the best content possible. And believe us, when this story broke we had plenty of stances to take … Continue reading

Snow Removal Trucks Pour Salt in the Wounds of Students who Wanted Blizzard on School Day
Student Life

Snow Removal Trucks Pour Salt in the Wounds of Students who Wanted Blizzard on School Day

Local officials announced Saturday afternoon that following the conclusion of Winter Storm Jonas, salt trucks would make routine rounds to not only cover roads, but also the open wounds of bitter students. To ensure students don’t get their hopes any higher about having a snow day in the near future, workers will dedicate one full … Continue reading

Teacher wonders if student raising hand or “just stretching”
Student Life

Teacher wonders if student raising hand or “just stretching”

Last Monday Jan Patterson, PHS English teacher of seven years, resigned after a humiliating experience in her English I class. The Dungeon’s reporting team managed to get the story of what really happened that fateful day. When class began, it seemed like any other. Four students fell asleep, two ate their lunches, and maybe three of them … Continue reading

What Are the Odds? Everyone But You Gets Into Their Top Choice School
Student Life / Uncategorized

What Are the Odds? Everyone But You Gets Into Their Top Choice School

In an event unprecedented in the history of Princeton High School everyone but you has been accepted to their top choice college. As shouts of joy rang out in the halls of PHS and jubilant statuses popped up on Facebook feeds throughout the greater Princeton area, sources confirmed that you were the only one rejected … Continue reading

Senior Miraculously Gets Recommended Amount of Sleep for First Time Since Freshman Orientation
Student Life

Senior Miraculously Gets Recommended Amount of Sleep for First Time Since Freshman Orientation

Following four days of “no homework,” college essays, and slightly more free time than usual, senior Marley Ray reported this weekend having received the recommended amount of sleep (according to Wikipedia) for the first time in years. Ray described the extra sleep as unintentional. “I went to bed around 11:35,” she said. “And by the … Continue reading

Group Members Go Offline Right After Student Messages Them About Working on Project
Student Life

Group Members Go Offline Right After Student Messages Them About Working on Project

After many hours of AP English III reading, PHS junior Remy Johnson reported last week that his physics group members went offline right after being messaged about starting work on their lab. The lab, which was due the next day, required complicated error analysis that nobody wanted to do. “There was about five seconds between … Continue reading